Goodbye Dad

Its Amazing how death can bring a family together. For those of you who know me well, you knew of the relationship problems between my father and I. And with all his kids for that matter. The man would beat the crap out of us for the tiniest thing. He didn't know how to show his love, and was abusive both mentally, and physically. We were scared of him, we felt sorry for him, we blamed ourselves, but most of all... we "hated" him. He was no longer my father but only known as "Bob."

But On Sunday June 25th, 2006, when he was rushed to the hospital, Put on life support, and told he wouldn't make it through the night. all of that changed. The anger was washed away, and the confusion, and sadness set in.

Mom would always say, "he's still our father." when we would aknowledge him as such. Little did I know It would take this to realize that.

I remember walking to his room, Looking at the now weak man before me. Touching his hand, holding it, kissing it, Hoping he would pull through. The same hand that would torture us was the hand I wouldn't let go for dear life.

all of his daughters surrounded him, along with his sister, Fiance, and My mom (his ex wife). He was suffering... He wanted to take the life support off, but was restrained. seeing him struggle for life... was the hardest thing to take.

"Right now its a balancing act, but the outcome doesn't look good." the doctor told us. So that night, With heavy hearts, and reality setting in, we went home.

The next morning, We went to make arrangements at the funeral home. we were on the way to his house when we got the call to hurry to the hospital, he was fading. Mom threw caution to the wind as she sped towards the hospital. We ran to his room where he lied. His pulse was a mere whisper and the only thing keeping him alive was his pase maker, the medications and the oxygen that breath for him.

"give her a few minutes alone with him" My sister said to my family, as I sat next to my Dad and held his same hand. "he's not conscious, but he can still hear you dear." the nurse said as she shut his door.

"Daddy..." I whispered through my broken voice. "I'm so sorry it had to come to this. But you've hurt me so much. You've missed so much of my life, all the pain, lies, and broken promises drove us apart. And I'm sorry, And I know your sorry. And I  love you so much.. You would have been so proud of my grades, and what I'm doing with my life.... I'm so so sorry we didn't have a better relationship... but I will always love you, and you need to know that. And I know you love me too...." I couldn't control my tears anymore when for a brief moment, he squeezed my hand ever so lightly.

Then It was time. It was his kid's decision, to stop the medicine. Surrounded by his family, and me still holding his hand.they took him off the various medications, His pulse was dull, as we played him "let it be", By the Beatles. The cardiologist came in and turned off his pace maker.. then within minutes.. He was gone.


Rest In Peace Dad

Robert Stephen Park

July 5th, 1943 - June 26th, 2006